Challenge The Old

In developmental psychology there are key milestones that occur in a child's life that becomes an important opportunity for them to challenge old assumptions and beliefs. This becomes a core part of their self-development because it helps them recreate new mental patterns and neural pathways. In the same way we experience this in our childhood, so do we have similar opportunities in our adulthood to do the same. Though we no longer are driven by these automatic developmental milestones, we still have the potential to grow, albeit more intentionally.  Contrary to popular belief, you can still teach an old dog new tricks, but only if it wants to learn.

Change is the only consistent in life and being open to change sometimes can be challenging if we want to hold too tightly to old beliefs and assumptions about how things ought to be. In our day-to-day lives, we carry old patterns, behaviours, beliefs, opinions and ideas that give us a sense of safety and predictability. But what happens when something shakes those routines or ideas? Do you crumble under the pressure or do you move with each shockwave?

The point of this analogy is this: though there is safety in what we know, it is difficult to grow or to adapt when change happens. Being able to challenge the old, is an important skill because it helps us remain resilient in times of change but also helps us self-actualise during our journey of self-development. Research shows that meaningful change tends to begin the moment we stop and question our old inherited beliefs, rather than simply attempting to adjust our behaviour without addressing what sits beneath it.

So, if you have felt stuck lately, repeating the same patterns and expecting a different outcome, it may not be a matter of discipline. It may simply be time to challenge the old.

1. Name The Pattern

Before a pattern can be changed, it must first be identified clearly. Choose one recurring reaction, habit, or way you tend to respond when circumstances become difficult.

• Write the pattern down in a single, clear sentence.

• Note when it tends to appear — i.e. under what conditions or pressures?

• Resist the urge to judge it yet; naming it is the only goal at this stage.

2. Question Its Origin

Once the pattern is named, the next step is to examine where it came from. Few of the rules we live by were consciously chosen.

• Ask yourself honestly: did I choose this belief, or did I inherit it?

• Consider who or what this rule may have once protected — for example, was it a younger version of yourself, a former relationship, an earlier role?

• Say the belief aloud to someone you trust. Beliefs often reveal how outdated they are the moment they are spoken.

3. Rewrite The Rule

The final step is not to discard the old pattern entirely, but to replace it with something that reflects who you are today.

• Ask what version of this rule would genuinely serve you now.

• Write the new rule in your own words, as a statement you can return to.

• Treat it as a working draft rather than a final decision. It can be refined as you grow.

You do not need to overhaul your entire life in a single sitting. You only need to stop assuming the old rule is the only option available to you.